080619 The Catacombs of Paris.

The catacombs of Paris.

There are two main parts to the catacombs - the first part is the quarry - kilometres of tunnels that were used to ferry the blocks of limestone up the surface. Some of the miners, while they were not busy extracting great huge lumps of limestone, also made sculptures and they are displayed along the way to the second and more morbid part which is affectionately known as “The Empire of Death“.

It seems that a few hundred years ago a fatal disease swept Paris of most of its citizens and the few remaining people had the gruesome task of cleaning up the mess. Like most mass extinction events the most efficient way to clean up was to make a mass grave. The grave was dug, the deceased were laid to rest, the families cried and soon afterwards everyone continued with their lives, albeit slightly sadder. It was not long after this terrible event that the survivors started to get sick and die. Most of them cried “Oh no not again.” but a few that had a robust constitution decided that they would find out what was the cause this time. They concluded that the mass grave was simply too massive and had become a secondary cause for disease.

In a decision that can only be described as “bureaucratic” the job of relocating the remains of around six million people suddenly became the problem for the Paris Quarrying Service. I can only imagine what the manager of the quarry would have said on the day that he was told of his additional duties. One day he would have arrived at work happy that his project was on track to fill the quota for several tons of limestone needed for the continued progress and development of France. His duties included the responsibility for “protecting and reinforcing the ground beneath Paris.” Full stop. By the end of the day, by decree of the King’s council, he is suddenly “responsible for protecting and reinforcing the ground beneath Paris and the exhumation, sanctity and preservation of the remains of around six million Parisians - now deceased.”

The catacombs are used to store human remains and are protected by laws regarding the sanctity of the dead, however there are no records of who is who and where their remains might be. The bones are simply stacked up in fairly neat piles. All the leg bones are used to make a kind of retaining wall which was then decorated with skulls. The other bones, regardless of who they may be are thrown in behind. There is no way that any Parisian can go to the catacombs and visit poor dead Great Aunt Elsie because no one knows for sure where her bones would be.
A skull feels a bit like a coconut.
There are signs along the path of the dead with sobering quotes about the fragility of mortality, the meaning of life and how futile it is to avoid death. It makes for a fun family outing.